Thursday, 13 November 2008

Bye Bye Bonkers Britney

It's ten years since doe-eyed trailer-trash fox BJ Spears unleashed brand Britney with her poptastic debut ...Baby One More Time and saucy schoolgirl shtick. Within a decade, Britters has gone from teen dream to half-dressed mess in one of the most spectacular falls from grace in the history of pop. We've spent the last five years mesmerized by Britney's tantrums, tiaras and baby dramas, but from now on, if reports are to be believed, we're only going to get the cleaned-up version of the pop princess. While we're happy that the Louisiana lovely is downing vitamins instead of Vicodin, we can't help but lament the passing of the mad-as-a-box-of-frogs superstar; especially upon hearing super sanitized new single, Womanizer.

Had we not adored the magnificent Blackout, released at the height of bad-Britney mania, Helen Of Troy... probably wouldn't give two figs about the future of the former Disney darling, but her fifth studio album was such an awesome schizophrenic electro-pop joy, we fell for the fucked-up sweetheart harder than we could have thought possible. The sneery cry of 'It's Britney Bitch' still excites us more than a year on.

With this in mind, we were well excited when we heard we were going to get a fitter, happier, healthier Britney. Unfortunately, even after a few listens, we're still not feeling new single Womanizer, which got us to thinking... Is Britters only worth listening to when she's clearly clinically insane? and... Is it wrong to only be interested in an artist when they're in meltdown?

Spears is by no means the first artist to burn out brilliantly. From Billie Holiday to Amy Winehouse, people have always been interested by suffering stars, but is it the scuzzy soap opera that excites us, or is the music of the unstable just plain better?

We're yet to hear Britney's new album Circus, but we're rather worried by rumours that it includes a ballad. Helen Of Troy... hates all ballads - fact, but Britney ballads are a particular bugbear of ours; Sometimes and I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman still make us want to do a sick!

While we don't want Britney to fuck up forever, we also don't want her to return to the airbrushed airhead of yore. Here's hoping Blackout wasn't a one-off and Ms Spears can find her fiery bad-ass inner-bitch while maintaining some kind of balance.

Currently listening to...
Girls Aloud - Out Of Control
The Long Blondes - Couples
Ebony Bones - Don't Fart On My Heart, We Know All About You (singles)


Thom said...

Oh no no no no no.

Point 1) Womanizer is AMAZING.

Point 2) Does Everytime count as a Britney ballad? That song is beautiful.

Other than that, I concur. Crazy Britney rules.

Adem With An E said...

The new album is IMMENSE. I actually think it's better than Blackout, which was an album I ADORED. And you're right, "It's Britney Bitch" will never get old. In fact, I think it's one of those pop culture catchphrases that will linger around for many years to come.

Helen of... said...

Cool. I'm really looking forward to hearing it. I reckon we'll review it so it'll be interesting to see how both our reviews compare :)

Hope things have settled down for you now and you're not too snowed under.


Adem With An E said...

Thanks Lyndsey... little bit so yes, things have gotten slightly better. ;)